Playing from the Heart

Despite my advice about the importance of trust in organizations, I frequently work with clients who are having trouble getting along with a someone. Often this person is a teammate in some way: A sports teammate, a business teammate, a family teammate. Typically, one of the major issues is a problem in communication.

As is usually the case when people are in conflict, there is a difference of opinion, and anger, hurt, and mistrust exists. My clients have usually come a good way in understanding that their anger and hurt is only coming from their own thought-feeling connection, but they are often still lost about how to communicate with someone who doesn’t seem to be as invested in building in a trusting culture.

My suggestion is always the same. You should make plays from the heart.

What does it mean to make plays from the heart? Making plays from the heart is acting (communicating, supporting, helping, etc.) in a way that shows love, compassion, or care for others.  I find that this guideline almost always results in modeling the behavior you want to see from others. I also find that people are at their best in almost any endeavor when acting from love. It’s essentially the emotion that allows the true you to be expressed unfiltered.

If you act from blocked thinking and negative emotions, you aren’t going to be playing from the heart, and everyone around you will see someone other than the real you. To be at your best, understand than any negative feelings are only coming from your thinking, and if you don’t muddy your thoughts with blame and judgement, those feelings will change when your thoughts eventually and inevitably clear. From this clarity, you can then take action, such as communicating from the heart, sending a message that represents the true you.

Now, this certainly doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to get walked on or trampled. It simply means that if you act from the heart, from the most loving, compassionate, caring position you can muster, you are going to build trusting relationships with others, even when you are delivering difficult news, even when you are explaining why you do not trust them.

If you keep making plays from the heart and pointing in the direction of trust, it will be built within your culture, and your culture will thrive.