Making the Play

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The Ego Climber from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (1974)

To the untrained eye ego-climbing and selfless climbing may appear identical. Both kinds of climbers place one foot in front of the other. Both breathe in and out at the same rate. Both stop when tired. Both go forward when rested. But what a difference! The ego-climber is like an instrument that’s out of adjustment. He puts his foot down an instant too soon or too late. He’s likely to miss a beautiful passage of sunlight through the trees. He goes on when the sloppiness of his step shows he’s tired. He rests at odd times. He looks up the trail trying to see what’s ahead even when he knows what’s ahead because he just looked a second before. He goes too fast or too slow for the conditions and when he talks his talk is forever about somewhere else, something else. He’s here but he’s not here. He rejects the here, he’s unhappy with it, wants to be farther up the trail but when he gets there will be just as unhappy because then it will be “here”. What he’s looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn’t want that because it is all around him. Every step’s an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.

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I first read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance when I was 23, almost 27 years ago now. Hovering in the midst of a voluminous book, it hit me like a bolt of lightning. For 23 years, I had been the Ego Climber, and this paragraph perfectly captured my habits and chronically misplaced effort.

While my change wasn’t instantaneous, and I still lapse into being the Ego Climber at times, understanding this philosophy has guided my personal growth for 27 years now. In my 50^th year I am more present than ever. My goals are more internal and within reach than ever before. I am more here than ever before.

On a recent hiking trip up Pikes Peak the Ego Climber’s message kept ringing in my head, and it was a glorious thing to feel (to actually be) present for the vast majority of the time. Nothing will make you feel more alive than being acutely aware of the heart beating in your chest. Sometimes the impetus for the heartbeat was the trail under my feet. Another time it was the bear staring at me from 40 yards away. Another time it was the sleet hitting the cover of my tent. In any case, the situation – the hike, the sunlight through the trees, the trail here – reminded me of the Ego Climber, its message, and the importance of being present. I wanted to share this masterful piece of literature with you in hopes that it does as much good for you as it has done for me.